Review of What He Isn’t Telling You: A Guided Tour of a Man’s Body, Soul, and Spirit by David Murrow

I must admit even though this book is intended as insight for wives, I read this book for personal understanding hoping someone might give voice to the often confusing, often disheartening, often disgusting thoughts that roll around in my mind.  I wasn’t disappointed, in fact I was overjoyed.  Murrow says early on, “don’t ask your husband to talk about his feelings.  He doesn’t understand what he’s thinking half the time much less his feelings!”.  I don’t want to give away everything the author puts in the book, but let me tease you with five thoughts from the book all of which begin with the letter “C”.
Consume.  Men need food more than they realize.  A man will consider a meal prepared by his wife to be a greater thing than she realizes.  It nurtures him and makes him feel appreciated.  Also a man will shove anything into his mouth when he is hungry, so having a wife prepare something is his only hope of eating anything healthy and nutritious.
Competence.  Men do best when they are doing things they are competent in.  An unfinished project around the house more than likely has nothing to do with laziness but is something he wishes he could do but avoids it because its outside of his sweet spot of competence.  It’s also why many men aren’t big conversationalists when it comes to things like feelings, emotions and relationships.  It’s not that they don’t have them, they just do a lot of other things better and so they avoid their weak spots.
Conjugal.  Men do think about sex all the time and it is their hormones speaking.  The good news is that while testosterone is speaking, his mind and heart are still thinking and he wants to fulfill those thoughts with his wife.
Continuity.  Men do not multi-task at least to the same degree as their wives.  They don’t multi-think or multi-relate either.  The strength of a man is his focus and concentration on what is before him.  He will not change this because his brain is wired differently.
Connection.  Men enjoy going to church most when they really connect with their pastor.  It’s not the music, it’s not the fellowship, it’s not the wonderful children’s program or adult Sunday school.  When they sense the pastor is someone like them and can relate to them, they will keep coming back.

As previously mentioned there is much more that will reward the reader of this book.  Even though the author is decidedly Christian and does quote scripture, the book is not what I would call overly “preachy” and would be suitable to give to a person who is pre-Christian but open to some good information.  The author has a very informative website as well: churchformen.com which explores avenues for helping the church be a more “guy-friendly” environment.